


Guaranteed to Blow Your Mind

by bladespark



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Animal Traits, Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley has two cocks because snakes, Demon Sex, Dom/sub Undertones, Double Penetration, M/M, Predator/Prey, Primal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 17:13:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19834852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladespark/pseuds/bladespark
Summary: “I have been on Earth for six thousand years, my dear.”  Aziraphale smiled at Crowley over the top of his wine glass.  “I rather know what making love is.  I’ve done it a few times, even, when the occasion seemed appropriate.”Crowley scowled and tried not to feel jealous of whoever those past humans had been.  He had a point to make here.  “Demons don’t ‘make love,’ angel.  Demonsfuck.”Crowley has trouble staying in control of his demonic nature during sex. Aziraphale doesn't mind this one bit.





	Guaranteed to Blow Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

> For the [Good Omens Prompt Meme](https://onthedisc.dreamwidth.org/9084.html?thread=139900#cmt139900).
> 
> I have such a soft spot for primal inhuman sex stuff, so I couldn't resist this, though I don't think I filled the prompt perfectly, since it's not super fluffy and there's not much giggling.

“I’m not sure you really understand what you’re asking for, angel,” said Crowley, fiddling with his sunglasses, which he’d taken off a bit ago. They were in the bookshop, after hours, and were both pleasantly drunk. It had become a downright regular thing for them after the end of the world. There didn’t seem to be any reason to pretend they weren’t “fraternizing” anymore, all things considered, so they had stopped bothering.

“I have been on Earth for six thousand years, my dear.” Aziraphale smiled at Crowley over the top of his wine glass. “I rather know what making love is. I’ve done it a few times, even, when the occasion seemed appropriate.”

Crowley scowled and tried not to feel jealous of whoever those past humans had been. He had a point to make here. “Demons don’t ‘make love,’ angel. Demons _fuck_.”

“I rather think those are both euphemisms for the same thing. Sex is sex, dearest, and I think we’re at a point where it’s rather on the table. Though I’d prefer my bedroom, but if you’re so inclined…” He rapped his knuckles on the table beside his chair with a twinkle in his eye.

Crowley shook his head. He could feel his cheeks flushing, but he had to let Aziraphale know what he was getting in for if they took this next step. Kissing and holding hands was all well and good, but this… “Sex isn’t always just sex, necessarily. When I…feel something for my partner it’s hard to keep in control of myself. Of my…nature.” He dared to look into Aziraphale’s eyes as he said, “With how strongly I feel about you, angel, I’m afraid I’d lose control completely. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh, Crowley.” Aziraphale’s smile was practically radiant. “That’s incredibly sweet. You truly don’t need to worry, though. It’s not as though I’m human myself.”

“Yes, but you’re…” Crowley sketched a vague shape in the air.

“An angel?” said Aziraphale, raising both eyebrows, his expression amused.

“You’re the person I love,” said Crowley, still feeling a little odd to say those words, though of course they’d been true all unspoken for literal ages. “I’d die if I ever hurt you.”

“But you won’t. Die or hurt me.” Aziraphale smiled serenely. “You know, Gabriel once had me convinced for a moment that I was soft. Am I _soft_ , Crowley?” There was a steeliness to his blue-gray eyes that reminded Crowley of exactly what the answer was, as if he hadn’t already known.

Crowley swallowed hard and said, “No. Not like that. I mean, you are. You can be softer than…than anything. But not… Not the way he meant it, I know.”

“Exactly. You won’t hurt me, dearest. And anyway, ah…” Aziraphale blushed charmingly, in a way that made Crowley perk up and pay attention.

“Hmm?”

“I am actually quite certain that if you did hurt me just a little, I would like it.”

Crowley suddenly found himself blushing even more brightly than Aziraphale. “…what?”

Aziraphale actually giggled. “Some people do like pain as part of sex, you know. Or have you never heard of sado-masochism?”

“I’ve heard of it,” Crowley said shortly, feeling suddenly quite out of his depth. He’d had plenty of sex, but his ideas of mixing things up had more to do with taking advantage of being able to change his body up a bit. He’d never played with any of _that_ sort of thing.

“I met DeSade once, you know. Bit of a nut, if I’m being honest. But if you take the things he wrote as pure fantasy, some of them are quite…interesting.”

“…fuck,” said Crowley, feeling entirely off balance.

Aziraphale giggled again. “We can use a safeword. Red, yellow, green, you know those?” 

Crowley, still mentally reeling, managed a nod. 

“That way I can let you know if you’re actually hurting me. But really, my love, I’ve wanted to make love to you—or to fuck, whichever way you’d rather—for ages now. If you’re interested in me that way, I’m most definitely not going to let a little demonic nature creeping in rob me of the chance to share that with you. I know what you are. I’ve always known, and it doesn’t bother me one whit.” He smiled and cupped Crowley’s cheek in his hand, running his thumb along the cheekbone, just under Crowley’s snake-yellow eye. Crowley melted into the touch, into Aziraphale’s trust and acceptance. He’d hidden his eyes from humanity for centuries, and he hid them from other demons too, but Aziraphale was the one person he’d never minded seeing them. Perhaps it could be that way with the rest of him, too.

“Alright,” said Crowley, feeling a shiver of mingled fear and desire go through him. “If… If you’re sure.”

“Very sure, dearest,” said Aziraphale gently but firmly.

“Right.” Crowley started undoing buttons. Aziraphale only sat back in his chair and watched as Crowley stripped. The demon wasn’t hasty, but it wasn’t a strip tease either. He was simply undressing, and there was an occasional tremor that made him fumble a button. His stomach felt like a solid knot of nervousness. He was about to be seen naked. There was naked, and then there was _naked_ , and he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d let anybody see him showing any demonic features that he could possibly hide. He’d hide his eyes too, if he could, but somehow that was the one thing he could never manage to change, so he hid them behind his shades instead. Now he was about to show Aziraphale quite a lot more than just his eyes, and no matter how much he trusted the angel, it was still nerve-wracking to do.

He finally got everything shed and set aside, and he let some of his human nature slip away. He didn’t go all the way, not yet. He eased into being physically demonic, just a little.

His wings were the most obvious thing, black shadows unfolding behind him, but Aziraphale had at least seen those before. Crowley’s demon nature was partly serpentine, so the scales scattered in odd little patches here and there were the next most visible change. His nails were half way to claws too, though, and he had very small horns, almost invisible in the ruddy tangle of his hair. His eyes were gold from one side to the other, no white showing at all, the pupils broad black pits in the dim light of the bookstore, and when he gave Aziraphale an almost shy smile, then licked his lips nervously, it showed a pair of fangs and a nearly-human tongue with a fork at the tip.

“This is…some of it,” he said, hesitantly.

“May I?” said Aziraphale, rising.

“Uhm. Yes?” Crowley didn’t know what he’d just agreed to, but he was willing to give Aziraphale whatever he wanted.

The angel reached out and traced a finger down Crowley’s arm, over a patch of dark scales there. Crowley shivered. The scales were less sensitive than skin, but the touch sent tingles through him all the same.

“Fascinating,” said Aziraphale softy. “The snake thing isn’t just a form you take, then?”

Crowley shrugged. “It’s kinda integral. Lotta demons have an animal association.”

Aziraphale nodded, still stroking that little patch of scales. “Angels rather don’t. We’re more glows and energies and wings and so on.”

“I know,” said Crowley.

Aziraphale smiled. “Yes. Not really useful for sexual congress, I must admit. This is much more interesting.” He took Crowley’s hand, rubbing a thumb curiously over one sharp talon. “Much more interesting,” he murmured again, and there was a touch of pink on his cheeks. Crowley licked his lips, feeling something hot stir in him, something that was both very human and entirely inhuman at once. He stared into Aziraphale’s wide gray eyes, and thought that this night was about to get very, very interesting indeed.

****

Aziraphale felt nearly mesmerized by Crowley, just as something small and fluffy might be mesmerized by a serpent. It was far from an unpleasant feeling, making his heart beat just that much faster, mixing an excitement that was like fear but wasn’t with an excitement that was definitely arousal.

Crowley lifted the hand that Aziraphale wasn’t holding and drew one pointed nail down the angel’s cheek. Aziraphale went utterly still save for a faint tremor, his heart suddenly going faster still at the touch of that razor-sharp claw. Crowley chuckled and continued, drawing it down his neck to his collar. “You’re still dressed, my angel,” said Crowley softly, and Aziraphale twitched. 

“Ah, yes, indeed. Shall I, ah, do something about that?”

“Unless you want me to claw it off of you, yes.” Crowley’s voice had gone darker, deeper, and it sent an utterly thrilling shudder through Aziraphale. He was intensely aware now that Crowley was a _demon_ , was nothing like human, and that awareness was setting him on fire. He could feel the ache between his legs, already making his trousers too tight. It normally took him quite some time to get into a state where he could let go of his corporeal form enough for that, but it had happened in no time at all tonight.

Aziraphale started undoing his bowtie with rather unseemly haste, suddenly needing very much to be as naked as the demon was. Crowley leaned against a bookshelf, lounging there, and watched as Aziraphale stripped as swiftly as a man wearing so many layers and with so many buttons could.

Once he got down to his terribly old-fashioned undershorts, though, Aziraphale paused. What Crowley had just said, about having them clawed off, ran through his mind. He felt himself flushing hotly, one a hand on the drawstring that held them up, but then he let his hand fall, merely standing there, his arousal very much evident.

Crowley stepped towards him, and Aziraphale had the thought that they must make a strange couple just now. The tall—perhaps even taller than he’d been a moment ago?—whipcord-thin Crowley, wings out, dusted with scales, very obviously nothing like human, and Aziraphale, in a plump, pink little body, seemingly entirely human, and a rather ordinary human at that. Then Crowley’s wings were folding around him, and his arms as well, his lips finding Aziraphale’s. The kiss was rough and forceful, the demon pressing his forked tongue into Aziraphale’s mouth, twisting it around his own aggressively, possessively. They’d kissed before, but never like this. Aziraphale shuddered in Crowley’s embrace, pressing to him, feeling skin and scales, wrapped in the black shadows of his wings. He’d meant to suggest they go up to his bedroom but he was nearly ready to beg Crowley to take him right here on the shop floor, and any damage to the books be damned!

Nearly, but not quite. He couldn’t quite brace himself to actually consider harm to his precious collection. So, when Crowley finally let him up for air, Aziraphale gasped, “Upstairs?”

Crowley, eyes very wide, started at him as if having trouble understanding the word for a moment, then nodded. “Right. Yes.” His voice was still deep and rough, and Aziraphale shivered again and nearly scurried up to the flat above the shop. Crowley was right on his heels, and there was a sense of being _pursued_ that made Aziraphale shiver even more.

This was utterly _amazing_.

Aziraphale had cleaned and made up his bed earlier that day, in hopeful anticipation. Now he was very glad he had, for there was nothing to do but step into the room. He didn’t even make it all the way to the bed, quite, before he was caught from behind, Crowley’s long arms wrapping around him, and he found the demon nipping at his shoulder with sharp fangs.

“Oh my!” He could feel Crowley as a firm, angular hardness against his back, and one hardness in particular was grinding against his backside. Crowley’s hands held him tight, claws biting into his upper arms, and he nipped up the side of Aziraphale’s neck, not hard enough to break the skin, but it would probably leave marks. Aziraphale moaned helplessly, completely caught up in it.

A moment later Crowley let go, but only to shove Aziraphale forward, onto the bed. Aziraphale didn’t resist that at all, he only crawled a little further up onto the bed and turned around, to see Crowley crawling after him, his eyes fixed on Aziraphale, pupils so broad they were pits of black with only a thin ring of gold around the edges of them.

“Oh. Oh my.” Aziraphale found he was panting, drawing in short, shuddering gasps of air. His body was full of electric heat, nearly terror, not terror _at all_ , as Crowley, fangs bared, forked tongue licking his lips, crawled atop him. Crowley’s claws caught at Aziraphale’s shorts and tugged, tore, shredded them completely, though the sharp claws barely even touched Aziraphale’s skin. Crowley tossed the ruined fabric aside, letting the angel’s erection spring free. The demon dove on it immediately, and Aziraphale cried out in shock once, then again, and then a third time at an overwhelming series of sensations; hot wetness closing over him, terrifyingly sharp fangs scraping down his length and then, oh dear _lord_ , that tongue wrapping around him.

He found his hands fisting in the demon’s hair without even having meant to, and his body was arching and shuddering as the pleasure of it raced through him.

Crowley lifted his head off of Aziraphale’s cock, and the angel let out a soft whimper of disappointment as the wonderful sensation went away. The demon licked his lips with a long, forked tongue that was now nothing like human. “Assssssiraphale,” he hissed, crawling further up over Aziraphale, “Want… _Need_ you…” His voice was thick, as if he were having trouble even knowing how to speak, even being capable of speech. His body was slipping further from human, scales spreading, horns now a sweeping arch back over hair that had become long and tangled.

“Oh yes,” said Aziraphale, breathlessly, and then Crowley was on him again, pushing his tongue into Aziraphale’s mouth, nipping at Aziraphale’s lips, and down the side of his neck, covering him with a flurry of rough kisses and dangerously sharp love bites. His body pressed down on Aziraphale, a firm weight, a cool pressure, serpentine, strange, wonderful. Aziraphale slid his hands down Crowley’s back, feeling the sleek scales under his fingers, touching where the wings joined his body and feathers fluffed softly there, feeling all the textures of him, taking in the inhumanness of him and reveling in it.

Crowley growled, low in the back of his throat, and ground his hips down on Aziraphale. He was breathing fast and harsh, his wings fanning the air slowly behind him. The angel could feel their cocks pressing together, and knew that Crowley’s must have changed too, for it felt strange, and not just for the coolness of it. Then he realized that he was feeling something else, a second hardness pushing between his legs, and a shudder went through him. He knew enough about snakes to know what that must be. “Oh my.”

Crowley only growled again in response, grinding harder against Aziraphale, one cock trapped between their bodies, the other angled lower, thrusting between Aziraphale’s thighs. Still growling and nipping at Aziraphale’s shoulder, Crowley began thrusting as if he meant to continue like this, just find his pleasure in simple, mindless friction, but Aziraphale wanted more.

“Hold a moment, my lovely demon. My dear, sweet creature. Hold a moment, please.”

Crowley huffed in the back of his throat, but pulled back, still looming over Aziraphale on hands and knees, but allowing enough space, enough time, enough breath between them for Aziraphale to do the thing that had immediately sprung into his mind on discovering there were two marvelous serpentine cocks present. He glanced down at them, seeing the flesh flushed so dark it was almost purple on both of them, shaped entirely unlike human cocks, swelling at their bases, blunt on their heads, ridged interestingly along the upper side of each.

His body now altered to suit his new desire, Aziraphale shifted under Crowley, drawing his knees up, offering himself. “Let’s find a home for those lovely, lovely things, shall we, my wonderful demon?”

“Asssssiraphale,” hissed Crowley, and though it was still a low, inhuman sound, it was sweet and needy and utterly perfect. Aziraphale grabbed the lower of the marvelous pair of cocks and guided it as Crowley lowered himself, pressing it down between his cheeks to the opening there that was already slicked and ready for it, simply because Aziraphale—who wasn’t remotely human himself, despite his seeming, despite how deeply human the pleasure that hummed through his body at the touch of Crowley’s cock against him was—simply because he wanted it so.

Crowley’s head pushed in easily, perfectly, and he moved as if to sink in further, but Aziraphale murmured “Hold still, love,” and Crowley froze, save for his rapid panting. Aziraphale wrapped his hand around the second cock, wringing a choked moan from Crowley, and guided the head of that to his other entrance, to the pussy he’d replaced his cock with just then, just for this.

Crowley gasped at the feel of it against him and bucked his hips forward, obviously unable to help himself. “Sssss. Angel…”

“Yes love, yes, just like that. You feel so wonderful in me.” Crowley did. Aziraphale had used a toy or two in his life, and the sensation of being doubly filled with one had been nice when he’d tried it, but this was miles beyond “nice.” The demon sank into him swiftly, not thrusting in, not quite, but burying himself eagerly. His breath was hot against Aziraphale’s ear, and he bit there, sharp fangs almost delicate, just the barest sting of them pricking. Aziraphale ran his hands down Crowley’s back again, just under the wings, over his hips, down to his ass, and Crowley ground down harder, pushing his cocks as deeply as possible, stretching Aziraphale out with the swollen bases of them.

“Yes,” said Aziraphale as he was filled more utterly than he’d ever been. “Yes, oh yes.”

“Yessssss,” echoed Crowley. “My angel…” Crowley shuddered where he rested within Aziraphale, but did not move.

Aziraphale’s fingers dug into the spare flesh of Crowley, trying to encourage him. “I want you, my demon, my love, my beautiful creature. I want you to take me. Please, don’t hold back.”

There was another huff, disbelieving, and Crowley buried his face in the sweet spot between Aziraphale’s neck and shoulder, his whole body trembling.

“Please, Crowley,” said Aziraphale. There was just a tiny pause, and then Crowley pulled back and thrust in, pushing both cocks into the angel beneath him deep and hard. Aziraphale gasped with it, pleasure that was twined with pain shocking through him.

Crowley growled again, a deep rumble, and repeated the thrust, if anything even harder this time. Then again, and again, settling swiftly into a steady, primal rhythm, bottoming out on both sides each time, making Aziraphale moan and writhe beneath him. It was so good, so wonderfully good, so intense and strange and so very _Crowley_ , something no human being could ever have given him.

It was too wonderful to hold back, in fact, Aziraphale’s body tensing, pleasure building. He knew he was on the edge of coming, and he gripped Crowley’s shoulders, his fingers digging in. “Oh Crowley. Oh yes… More, my love. Yes, oh yes!”

Crowley pressed a hot kiss on him, his long, forked tongue slithering into Aziraphale’s mouth, filling it as the rest of him was filled, pushing deep, denying him breath. His body trembled with it, desperate for air, but even more desperate for the thing that rose in him, building and building until it crashed over him and with a silent, helpless shudder he came intensely, the world going white around him.

He clenched as hard as he could on Crowley as his orgasm washed through him, able to hold on to just enough conscious thought to know he wanted Crowley there with him, wanted his wonderful demonic lover to feel this same thing, and so he tightened himself and lifted his hips, clinging to Crowley, his white wings spreading out—and when had those appeared?—as he tried to bring Crowley to his peak as well.

Crowley pulled back from the kiss, panting hard, claws digging into Aziraphale’s back. The angel gasped in a desperate breath as the demon buried his face against Aziraphale’s shoulder, his thrusts becoming rough, jerky, barely pulling out but still slamming in deep enough to hurt in the best possible way, and then with a wordless cry he too was there, flooding Aziraphale with a double load of hot seed, his black wings stretching so wide one hit a bookshelf and sent books tumbling, but for once Aziraphale cared nothing whatsoever for his precious volumes, all he knew was the primal heat of it as Crowley filled him at last.

After a small eternity they both lay together, Crowley still doubly buried inside Aziraphale, nuzzling at his shoulder where he’d left marks that would definitely turn to bruises later, Aziraphale drawing his hands lightly up and down Crowley’s sides, over the scales there, eyes half closed in dreamy contentment.

It was some time before Crowley said, his voice still a little rough, a little sibilant, “Wasss that…okay, angel?”

“Crowley, my dearest demon, I am something of a connoisseur of various pleasures of the flesh, and that was quite possibly the most wonderful thing I’ve felt in six thousand years of bodily feelings.” He shifted one hand to stroke along Crowley’s hair, combing his fingers gently through the dark-fire tangle of it. “It was much more than merely okay.”

Crowley sighed in something like relief. “I’m…glad.” He let his own eyes slide closed, his head resting on Aziraphale’s shoulder. After a while he shifted, drawing his wings in, and said, hesitantly, “I can…change back, if you want.”

“Only if you’ll be more comfortable,” said Aziraphale. “I’m quite fine like this. This is lovely.” Crowley’s cocks were softer than they’d been, but they still filled him wonderfully, and Aziraphale felt that he’d be perfectly content to lie here until the sun burned out and the world ended a second and finale time. The angel continued to stroke Crowley’s hair slowly, and Crowley made a sound that was half hiss and half purr, a stuttering “sssrrrrrsssrrr” of utter relaxation.

“I love you, my sweet, demonic creature,” murmured Aziraphale softly.

“I love you too, my angel,” was Crowley’s drowsy reply, and they then were asleep, angel and demon, still joined together.

**Author's Note:**

> I can totally do Crowley's hiss-purr at the end there, I didn't just smash a cat and snake together to get a thing that couldn't be a real sound. Unfortunately, I cannot do the *rest* of what he did. I can only write about it.
> 
> If you'd like to see me talk about writing, my works in progress, other creative endeavors, and my life in general, check out [my Dreamwidth blog](https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/).


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